Pop question: What did you do the last time someone complimented your appearance or figure?
(Did you do what most of us do, blush and talk about some other part of your body that you hate?)
When was the last time you came out of a department store dressing room really feeling good about what you saw in the mirror?
If you are like most of us, a lot of your negative self talk is focused on your body, right? How fat or skinny you are… how flat or endowed you are. And let’s not even think about our daily wrinkle and grey hair inventory!
No matter our size or shape – long and lean, compact and curvy, top-heavy, pear-shaped… we all seem to have a negative perception of our bodies. Without going too much into why, let’s briefly look at the culture we were brought up in. Television ads, magazines, radio, movies. Every day, we are bombarded with messages of what we SHOULD look like.
- Do you know that the majority of clothing line designers use sizing to manipulate us? That size four jean you purchased last year is likely considered size zero this year.
- Did you ever stop to think… that gorgeous model on the cover of Cosmo had her cleavage enhanced and her skin tone evened out by a neat trick they call air brushing?
Remember that no body is perfect – not even the world’s supermodels. We all have those parts of us that we love, and other areas we wish we could change. Realize that you don’t need to subscribe to all the disempowering messages our consumer-based society screams at you!
Walking through life with a negative body image perception creates a cycle of unfulfillment. This spills into all areas of your life:
- Your intimate relationships
- Your social life
- Adventures and vacations you want to take
- Invitations that you decline
What if instead of focusing on what you looked like, you could address those unmet needs that keep that negative self talk reel playing over and over in your mind? You know, those needs that you attempt to fulfill with a plethora of disempowering behaviors like:
- Over-eating
- Under-eating
- People-pleasing
- Complaining
- Making excuses
- Overspending
- Wearing clothes that are too big or too small
- Scouring magazines for the latest styles
- Drinking too much
Now, I’m not suggesting that you resort to wearing burlap sacks and ditch your cosmetic drawer. Being a girly girl myself, I love indulging in fun clothes and different hair styles. Being able to play up your features is a fun part of being a female! Yet, we don’t have to indulge in these things to the point that we’re trying to be someone else.
Really loving your body means working to bring out your inner beauty, your essence and wearing clothing that shows who you truly are.
Next time you catch yourself thinking and behaving poorly about your body, ask why. Why am I behaving impulsively/self-destructively and what would really help me to lift my self-esteem?
Maybe instead of stocking up on larger sizes, then “drowning” our sorrows, or “eating” them away… we can realize that what we really want is to treat our bodies better, and to feel better. And maybe that begins with something as simple as taking a brisk walk every morning.
It’s just a small step – but it’s the difference between masking or escaping from our poor body image perception, and instead learning to appreciate, respect and nurture the body that you were given.
Here are tips to overcome a negative body image:
- Define your own version of beauty.
- Engage in self care so you feel vibrant and alive.
- Replace negative self talk with the truth of how well your body serves you.
- Identify your unmet emotional needs and create empowering ways to meet them.
- Realize that other people don’t focus on your flaws the way that you do – because to them, the outer package holds a truly wonderful and beautiful gift – YOU.
Today, make the choice to bring fulfillment into your life no matter what you look like. By taking action to feel whole and complete today, you’ll create the energy and motivation that allows your outside to reflect your inside.
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Susan Liddy is the author of the “Body Benevolence eBook; 8 Weeks to Loving Your Body” and “The Secrets to Ultimate Living; What You Wish You Knew When You Were 20!”. Find more of her tips and articles to create an ultimate life and an extraordinary business here: SusanLiddy.com
© 2011, copyright, All Rights Reserved Internationally, Susan Liddy, Susan Liddy International
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Stopping by from SITS. This is a great post, and something that I think most women struggle with. Strangely (or maybe not) I’ve found that my body image has improved immensely since I lost my job and have been unemployed! Yes, I’ve lost a pound or two, but I really think it has more to do with absence of stress from my job.
.-= Janet´s last blog ..Does Size Matter =-.
I love this post because lack of self esteem over our looks is something that plagues so many women. And it can really sap the power out of otherwise talented women. We sure don’t need that!
Thanks for these very useful tips.
I wrote a post on my own process of aging and self-acceptance that might be of interest to your readers. http://www.postcardsfromapeacefuldivorce.com/294/mirror-mirror-on-the-wall-whos-the-fairest-one-of-all/
I always appreciate how you are looking to boost our confidence, Susan.
.-= Molly Monet´s last blog ..Death in the Afternoon =-.
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