By Susan Liddy

Have you thought much about goals? Perhaps your current goal is to graduate with a Master’s Degree and then go after that promotion at work. Maybe it’s to drop 10 pounds before bikini season and do it the healthy way. Or, maybe your goal is more loosely defined, but nevertheless important… like committing to live a more environmentally-conscious lifestyle.

Our goals say a lot about us– expressing who we are and what we stand for. Empowering goals take us into life where we want to be. They bring us purpose, passion and a sense of accomplishment.

Often, we confuse empowering goals with expectations. A goal is a mission that you set for yourself, and should be based on your personal values and beliefs. Sometimes, the expectations others have for us about how we should live, who we should be and what we should look like become enmeshed with what we intend for ourselves. When we try to live up to everyone else’s expectations, we lose sight of ourselves. We get disconnected. Are the current goals that you have for yourself based on who YOU are, and what YOU want? If not, you may want to reexamine what it is that you feel is most important in your life, and then compare that to how you are actually living.

Sometimes, we set the bar for our goals too high. This is because our own self-expectations are simply unattainable. We all have those “shoulds” and “have-tos” that we struggle to meet each day. Maybe you think you ought to look a certain way… be a certain size… have a certain lifestyle. Basic goal-setting teaches us that an empowering goal is one that is attainable… within reach.

If the goal you envision for yourself is to be a size 4 by Christmas, but it’s May and you’re a size 16 now… there’s a good possibility that you will not meet your goal! But, that doesn’t mean that healthy weight loss can’t be a part of your mission to look and feel better. Learn to set realistic goals that can easily be accomplished in small steps. Once you get used to stepping, you’ll be able to visualize from a practical standpoint, how much time and effort it will take you to achieve what you intend to.

Empowering goals require commitment and persistence. Our dedication to the goal, and our persistence in getting there, is fueled by feelings. We are more likely to achieve our empowering goals when we feel impassioned by the idea of them. For example, maybe you just found out you’re having a baby, and so your goal is to learn all about staying healthy during your pregnancy. Your motivation is the love you have for your growing child, and the desire to live life in a way that ensures his or her good health.

Love is a very intense motivator that empowers us to reach our goals. No matter what your goal is, you will meet with challenges along the way. It’s important to keep in mind the many reasons why you decided to set this goal in the first place. Remember the ways this goal meets your emotional needs, or brings meaning to your life. This will give you the commitment and dedication you need to “keep on trucking!”

Good life planning and life balance skills are part of setting empowering goals. If you allow a goal to consume you, you’re less likely to achieve it. That is; if you’re too overzealous about your goal now, you may find yourself neglecting other, equally important aspects of your life. For example, suppose your goal is to turn a cherished hobby into a side business. It’s possible to become so wrapped up in this that you actually begin to do a poor job at your “regular” career. Later, when you receive the wake-up call from your boss, you may find yourself in a panic and tossing the beloved project aside.

To avoid this, create a feasible action plan for your goal and move toward it each day. While you do this, also remember to keep a focus on your entire life. Better to learn how to successfully manage your time overall. Work the goal into your everyday schedule, without letting the rest of your responsibilities fall by the wayside. You’ll eventually get good at knowing which aspects of your life can be sacrificed, and which should be managed in tandem with the goal.

Steps to writing an empowering goal for yourself

Consider your answers to the following:

• What I Want (I choose… I intend to… I am willing to create…)
• Why I Want It (This goal brings meaning to my life because…)
• When I Want It (starting today… by end of summer… )

Here’s a final tip about setting empowering goals. When you are faced with an expectation that doesn’t fit into your value system or align with your goal, simply be aware of it. And ask yourself, what do I aspire to? If you’ve grown lax about keeping up with your goal, forgive yourself! Remind yourself of your empowering goal statement. Then get back up on the horse, and get to realizing your goal and fulfilling your dream!

Aspire fearlessly!

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© 2010 copyright. Susan Liddy, AspireLifeCoaching.org. All rights reserved.

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What are some of your empowering goals?

We’ve heard it and we’ve said it over and over… life is hard! Today’s world offers so many options and opportunities. We want to do and be our very best, in all areas, all of the time.

We get good jobs, and we work hard and long hours. Many of us juggle full-time careers with parenting… and nearly everyone feels the need to fill our lives with countless people, activities, things and experiences!

Where do our precious minutes slip away to?

Do we lose them while shopping for and preparing healthy meals for ourselves and/or our families?

Do we burn them off on the treadmill at the gym three nights a week?

Maybe we vacuum, mow, prune and scrub them away while caring for our homes and yards…

Is it me, or does it seem like there’s always another meeting to sit through, party to attend, gift to buy, trip to make, or vacation to book?

Time is flying… but are we having fun? The American Institute of Stress says no. They estimate that 75 percent to 90 percent of all visits to the doctor are for stress-related problems.

Because of this, more and more people are seeking simplicity – that thing that we all feel like we’re missing and want to get back. Instead of clutter and chaos, we want a flow to life where we can feel on top of things, rested and satisfied. Our “solution” is to try and get it all done now so we can rest or have fun later. But “later” never seems to come!

Do you beat yourself up to do more? Do you feel stressed that you’re constantly falling behind?

Please don’t do this to yourself! It’s so unhealthy.

When you overbook, you actually get LESS done than if you had undertaken a more modest amount of responsibility. That’s because in trying to do too much, your energy depletes to the point that you incapacitate yourself. Pretty soon, you’re so fraught with fatigue and frustration that you’re slipping up on things you’re typically great at – and it’s a result of exhaustion and overwhelm. Before you know it, it’s another day, with more of the same… the never ending story of your stressed-out life!

Less Really IS More.

Instead of racing around to catch up, stop and take a breath. Recognize that you simply can’t do it all. Acknowledge that when it comes to feeling good, getting things done, and living richly… less really is more!

Once you realize this, you’ll probably be wondering just how you can create less from the piles of “more” that you’ve accumulated over the years. The secret is learning how to trim away the excess. Rid yourself of that which doesn’t serve you or help you move closer to your goals and aspirations. Here are some tips to help you get started on “closet cleaning” your life from top to bottom:

• Identify what is important to you. What are your values? What do you believe in, and wish to live in support of, through your actions and words, each and every day? The key is to identify what it is that you hold in highest regard, so that you may actively bring these things into your life, instead of the things that you don’t want or need.

• Use your values to guide your choices. Each time you’re faced with a new decision, ask yourself whether the outcome of that action is in support of your beliefs and wishes. If it’s not… toss it! Then, take what’s left, and create a foundation for living that echoes your greatest desires, and ripples outward into every facet of your life.

• Step away from expectation and judgment. Then, step into intentionally living your values each day. Many of my life coaching clients express their desire to welcome things like patience, joy, spirituality and connection into their lives. In order to embrace these positive virtues, we must learn to let go of the negative thoughts, words and actions that hold us captive! Learn to love yourself first, and you will then be in a place to share that love with others.

Simplifying your life to create a better sense of well being and direction includes an important element of letting go. Today, ask yourself,  “What am I willing to release for the sake of destressing?” Then, implement your answer.

Aspire fearlessly,

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What are you willing to let go of to reduce your stress?

Life Coach Susan Liddy discusses a popular quote by Bruce Barron about tapping into your inner strength to rise above the circumstances of your life.

Michelle used to come home exhausted. Waking up each morning, already feeling tired, she would trudge through her day feeling fatigued and doing whatever she could to “keep herself going”. Too much caffeine and lack of exercise were contributing to Michelle’s plight. But, by making a few lifestyle changes, Michelle was able to shift from zombie mode to feeling vigorous about life.

You can too.

What you eat, drink, and even how you think can drain your energy. Below are some common culprits that can zap your energy and ways to get you feeling spunky again…

• JUNK FOOD: Reaching for that sugar filled snack mid afternoon will do more than add to your waist line. Studies show that high sugar snacks eventually leave you feeling unfocused and irritable. Junk food are empty calories that may make you feel full but actually leave you with a tank on empty.

Solution: Eat more Fruits and Vegetables. Mother Nature packed them with vitamins, minerals and other substances that keep you healthy and energized. By increasing your daily intake of fruits and vegetables you can increase your energy level to get you through the day. And, by eating high fiber snacks, you can eat less and feel fuller! If you’re not sure what foods are best for you, a meeting with a nutrition consultant will get you on track.

• MESSY HOUSE: Disorganization taxes your brain and expends your energy as you are always looking for what’s misplaced. Even just thinking about a messy room can suck the life out of you, leaving you feeling frustrated and overwhelmed.

Solution: Use my Ten at a Time Method to organize your surroundings. Each day, choose ten items in one area that you’ll either: keep, toss or donate. Immediately toss away the garbage, put away what you’ll keep and place your donated items into a “good will box”. You’ll be feeling more energized and on top of things in no time!

• DEHYDRATION: Even being a little bit dehydrated, say as little as 2% of your body weight, will leave you feeling fatigued, achy and in a fog.  Every cell in your body needs water in order to work well. Without the right amount of water, your body will feel like its wading through sludge. And, guess what? If you’re thirsty, you’re already dehydrated.

Solution: Drink water throughout your day. Think of your body as a flower garden. If you don’t water the garden, the plants droop, flowers fade and nothing new springs up. Water your body to keep everything flowing on the inside so you can flow through life on the outside. Oh, and don’t forget to reduce caffeine drinks because they actually dehydrate you.

• OVER COMMITTING: Keeping a hectic, too busy calendar will wear you down physically, mentally and emotionally. When there is always something to do we don’t have the downtime needed to rejuvenate and replenish our reserves.

Solution: Make time for you. Say “No” once in a while. Schedule time to be with yourself to read a book, meditate, get a massage or simply do nothing at all! Double the reward by including time for your favorite exercise. A strong and rested body will help you go the distance!

• NEGATIVE THINKING: We all want to improve our lives to make them better, yet over focusing on what’s bad will completely drain your energy. Everyone experiences disappointment and upset in their lives but overemphasizing these feelings will put your body into “survival mode”, raising your cortisol and adrenalin levels to the point of fatigue.

Solution: Shift your focus to what’s right. Count your blessings, list your accomplishments, and engage in activities that you enjoy and make you laugh. Balancing out your experience in such a way will give you that shot in the arm you need to create a fulfilling life.

You don’t have to settle for “dragging yourself” through life. With mindfulness and a little effort you can enjoy more alertness and vitality throughout your day. Please keep in mind that certain physical conditions such as diabetes, low iron or chronic fatigue syndrome can make you feel ultra tired. If you haven’t been to a doctor in a while, making that appointment and then keeping it is your first priority to increasing your energy level.

Aspire fearlessly,

Comment below on this Question:

What would you do with more energy?