Coaching Tip: Quieting those Negative Voices

If you’re like most people, you probably have a running inner dialogue that seems to accompany your every task. It’s the voice of “Little You” inside your head. Little You™ is a younger version of you… the child inside who speaks your fear. Little You can also be the voice of the schoolyard bully. “You can’t do that!”

Little You™ is only trying to protect you when she pipes up… but ultimately this negative self talk makes you second-guess yourself. It will keep you from doing the things you really want to, and stop you from growing as a person.

Think about how many times the negative voice piped in and kept you small. What did Little You say? Did it sound a little like this?

• “Why bother with a diet and exercise plan? You’re just going to gain it all back and then some!”
• “You aren’t any good at (wiffle ball, math, cooking, speaking in front of an audience… fill in the lank)!“
• “No one wants to hear what you have to say!”

Now think about all the things that you WOULD have done were it not for that little naysayer in your head. What if instead of always bringing you down, Little You felt confident and sure of herself?

There is another voice in your head… the powerful, wise voice of your “True Self” or who I call True You™. She’s the one who knows your answers and what you value. It’s her voice that we want to listen for and honor. She says things like,

• “Hey, why not try out a new, healthy eating and exercise routine? I could drop a few pounds, feel better, and look great in my bathing suit this summer!”
• “I’ve never really tried (wiffle ball, math etc.) but why not give it a try and see how well I do?
  
• “Speak up! You might change someone’s mind (or life) today…”

Here are some tips for quieting the doubts and fears of Little You, and replacing these with positive, empowering thoughts that come from your strong, capable, empowered self.

1. Be mindful of what Little You has to say. Sometimes we’re so used to our own inner dialogue that we don’t even realize just how hard on ourselves we really are. The next time your brain tells you “Give it up,” “No you can’t,” take note. You’ll begin to realize how very often the person psyching you out is YOU!

2. Offer Little You some comfort and reassurance. If your inner self talk is telling you to don’t bother, etc., then examine the old feelings that are surfacing to cause this doubt and fear. Honor these feelings… then move through them to empowerment and “Yes, I can!”

3. Ask yourself, what bad do I think could happen? Whatever you think that is… that’s your fear. You’ve just identified your fear… the thing that’s stopping you from going full speed ahead. How will you know if you don’t try? What if Little You is wrong, and you’re missing the opportunity of a lifetime?

4. Work through the fear. Think of a little child, first learning to walk. Does the child just get up and start walking? No… she falls down at first… a lot! And then she gets up and tries again. That’s working through the fear. You and Little You can do this, one step at a time.

5. Reward yourself. Even if whatever you attempt doesn’t turn out perfectly, the great thing is that you did it. You moved through the fear and tried something new and different. Give yourself a pat on the back, a high-five and don’t forget to give Little You a “big hug!”

6. Practice using the voice of “True You”. Each time your negative self talk creeps in, put a stop to it. Instead of “Why?” ask yourself, “Why NOT?” Instead of “forget it,” tell yourself, “What have I got to lose?” Instead of No, Never, Don’t, try “Maybe, probably, yes!”

Before you know it, the voice in your head will be urging you to do, say, and try things you never thought possible!

Comment on this question:

What is True You™ saying to you right now?

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Susan Liddy is the author of the “Body Benevolence eBook; 8 Weeks to Loving Your Body” and “The Secrets to Ultimate Living; What You Wish You Knew When You Were 20!”. Find more of her tips and articles to create an ultimate life and an extraordinary business here: SusanLiddy.com

©copyright, All Rights Reserved Internationally, Susan Liddy, Susan Liddy International

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Tagged as: Little You, Self Confidence, self talk