By Susan Liddy

Have you thought much about goals? Perhaps your current goal is to graduate with a Master’s Degree and then go after that promotion at work. Maybe it’s to drop 10 pounds before bikini season and do it the healthy way. Or, maybe your goal is more loosely defined, but nevertheless important… like committing to live a more environmentally-conscious lifestyle.

Our goals say a lot about us– expressing who we are and what we stand for. Empowering goals take us into life where we want to be. They bring us purpose, passion and a sense of accomplishment.

Often, we confuse empowering goals with expectations. A goal is a mission that you set for yourself, and should be based on your personal values and beliefs. Sometimes, the expectations others have for us about how we should live, who we should be and what we should look like become enmeshed with what we intend for ourselves. When we try to live up to everyone else’s expectations, we lose sight of ourselves. We get disconnected. Are the current goals that you have for yourself based on who YOU are, and what YOU want? If not, you may want to reexamine what it is that you feel is most important in your life, and then compare that to how you are actually living.

Sometimes, we set the bar for our goals too high. This is because our own self-expectations are simply unattainable. We all have those “shoulds” and “have-tos” that we struggle to meet each day. Maybe you think you ought to look a certain way… be a certain size… have a certain lifestyle. Basic goal-setting teaches us that an empowering goal is one that is attainable… within reach.

If the goal you envision for yourself is to be a size 4 by Christmas, but it’s May and you’re a size 16 now… there’s a good possibility that you will not meet your goal! But, that doesn’t mean that healthy weight loss can’t be a part of your mission to look and feel better. Learn to set realistic goals that can easily be accomplished in small steps. Once you get used to stepping, you’ll be able to visualize from a practical standpoint, how much time and effort it will take you to achieve what you intend to.

Empowering goals require commitment and persistence. Our dedication to the goal, and our persistence in getting there, is fueled by feelings. We are more likely to achieve our empowering goals when we feel impassioned by the idea of them. For example, maybe you just found out you’re having a baby, and so your goal is to learn all about staying healthy during your pregnancy. Your motivation is the love you have for your growing child, and the desire to live life in a way that ensures his or her good health.

Love is a very intense motivator that empowers us to reach our goals. No matter what your goal is, you will meet with challenges along the way. It’s important to keep in mind the many reasons why you decided to set this goal in the first place. Remember the ways this goal meets your emotional needs, or brings meaning to your life. This will give you the commitment and dedication you need to “keep on trucking!”

Good life planning and life balance skills are part of setting empowering goals. If you allow a goal to consume you, you’re less likely to achieve it. That is; if you’re too overzealous about your goal now, you may find yourself neglecting other, equally important aspects of your life. For example, suppose your goal is to turn a cherished hobby into a side business. It’s possible to become so wrapped up in this that you actually begin to do a poor job at your “regular” career. Later, when you receive the wake-up call from your boss, you may find yourself in a panic and tossing the beloved project aside.

To avoid this, create a feasible action plan for your goal and move toward it each day. While you do this, also remember to keep a focus on your entire life. Better to learn how to successfully manage your time overall. Work the goal into your everyday schedule, without letting the rest of your responsibilities fall by the wayside. You’ll eventually get good at knowing which aspects of your life can be sacrificed, and which should be managed in tandem with the goal.

Steps to writing an empowering goal for yourself

Consider your answers to the following:

• What I Want (I choose… I intend to… I am willing to create…)
• Why I Want It (This goal brings meaning to my life because…)
• When I Want It (starting today… by end of summer… )

Here’s a final tip about setting empowering goals. When you are faced with an expectation that doesn’t fit into your value system or align with your goal, simply be aware of it. And ask yourself, what do I aspire to? If you’ve grown lax about keeping up with your goal, forgive yourself! Remind yourself of your empowering goal statement. Then get back up on the horse, and get to realizing your goal and fulfilling your dream!

Aspire fearlessly!

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© 2010 copyright. Susan Liddy, AspireLifeCoaching.org. All rights reserved.

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