Sexy Comes in All Sizes
In a world of size one models, ultra skinny celebrities, and an over indulgent mass media filled with beauty enhancing products and services to “help us love our bodies”, it’s hard to embrace that beauty really does come in all shapes and sizes.
Women everywhere seem to underestimate their beauty, and it can be a rare find to come across a woman who doesn’t have body image concerns. Studies show that the majority of women and girls do not like their bodies.
And, I was one of them. For much of my life I was ashamed of my body. Thinking I was too short, too skinny and “boyish”, I obsessed over my perceived inadequacies fearing that no one would ever truly find me desirable. I kept itemized mental lists of my imperfections, attempting to camouflage or change them when ever and HOW ever possible.
I was mean to my body, and to myself for being “in it”. I didn’t eat right, didn’t exercise, didn’t drink water. Instead I drank lots of other things, starved myself (go figure) and engaged in promiscuous behaviors. What’s interesting is that the more I obsessed about my body, the worse I felt and, the worse I felt the more obsessed I became about my body. I was caught up in a never ending cycle that not only jeopardized my life goals and dreams, it put my health at risk.
Disruptive body image “habits” are a challenge to shake, yet it can be done. It’s possible for every woman to love her body, as is today. It begins with…
- Awareness: Recognize how you are thinking about and treating your body. Notice that how you perceive your body may not be true reality. Identify any disempowering behaviors and beliefs that are perpetuating a negative body image.
- Shifts: Embrace the magic and wonder for your body. List the plethora of ways your body serves you. Acknowledge yourself for all that you accomplish. Create a mindset that you are beautiful from the inside out.
- Changes: Make new choices that celebrate and honor your body. Practice healthy self care and allow yourself to take breaks as needed. Exercise your body for the fun of it and engage in hobbies and activities that fill you to the brim with happiness.
Sexy comes in all shapes and sizes. Sexy is every height, weight, color, age… When the true essence of a woman shines through in her confidence and character, that is SEXY. So I’ll say it… I am a sexy woman!!! Now say it with me… 
Aspiring fearlessly,
Comment on this Question:
What body image challenges have you experienced?
This is so true. Large, small, or in-between, most of us just seem not to like how we look. Thank you for pertinent tips to help change that.
Karen Chaffee
Ok, how about us guys, gay or otherwise who have body image challenges.
Now I have come from 260 to 160 but I still don’t feel sexy! I think this is one
of the challenges in attracting a mate – they realize that I don’t feel sexy about who I am no matter that I am still 25-30 pounds overweight.
Thank You
Howard
Thanks for creating a dialogue about this, Susan. I talk to so many women week after week who are putting their sex lives and other fun stuff on hold until they are that perfect size. LADIES – Sieze The Day!
All you have is today. You may not be on this planet tomorrow. Enjoy exactly what you have an exactly who you are NOW. YOu should not put the really really fun stuff on hold until you lose those last 10lbs…you could be working on those last 10 lbs the rest of your life. WHY WAIT?
And, guess what, some men PREFER saggy breasts, big butts, a little pooch around the tummy. Granted, some men are into toned and sculpted – but my point is that if there are equal amount of men that love BIG HUGE breasts as there are men who love ITTY BITTY breasts, that that would hold true on body size preferences, too.
Confidence is what REALLY turns people on and just OWN IT! Own who you are right now and enjoy life and all the pleasures that your body can bring – size 2 or size 22!
Can you tell I feel strongly about this issue? I am a size 22 and I an here to ENJOY who I am now at this very moment – not who the media tells me I should be.
Happy Memorial Day Weekend!
Blissfully, Chrystal
Susan,
You are an amazing woman to be able to write the things you do with such candor!
At 50 I feel very sexy or as I would call it “womanly.” I’ve come to realize its more a state of mind than anything else. I don’t necessarily dress sexy, but I believe I carry myself, my body, with a confidence that says I like myself, and that comes across as sexy! I eat right, exercise and treat myself with loving kindness. If I donn’t, who will?
Best to you,
Myriam
You are so right on with this post!
In retrospect, I spent my 20’s beating up on myself for not looking ‘right’(I was a size
In my 30’s I became unhealthily obsessed with looking ‘perfect’ – enter the eating disorder – and down to a size 4.
Now I’m 40-ish, beat the eating disorder and looking back, thinking: God how I WISH I could have the body now that I had then. You know, back then when I was complaining about it.
Now back to a size 8 – and things aren’t quite as firm as they used to be and you know what? That’s just fine. My legs propel me through marathons, and are in training to bounce a grandchild on them. They’re good legs. My breast nourished children. They’re good breasts. My belly carried those kids and hid their crying faces against it to sheild them from the world for a moment. It’s a good belly. My round behind proudly proclaims my middle-eastern heritage (and thank you Kim Kardashian for making that ‘vogue) It’s a good butt.
I am not model thin. But I am strong, healthy and energetic. And what’s sexier than that?
Peace,
Gypsy
Gypsy… you made me well up a little. You’re a good lady.
This was a GREAT post! I agree, confidence goes a long way… and if you sneak a peek at what men are looking at in the adult entertainment industry you will come to discover that they really do love woman of all shapes, sizes, and every color in the rainbow.
I attended Woodstock ‘99 and remember seeing a sign in a few places that read, “Big or small, we love them all.”
Isn’t it amazing how our Body Image can affect us? Such a huge relief and big sense of freedom comes when we can truly embrace our body as-is.
- Susan
Very interesting article
As a guy I recognise great looking women everyday and whilst it would be fair to say there’s a ‘type’ that I might gravitate towards most, i can confirm that all sorts of women are sexy and i think a lot of that is how confident they are and how happy they are with their body and self image.
Honesty is always a virtue
Alan,
Thanks so much for your comment!
There are a TON of ways to define sexy… attractiveness… beauty.
As women, we tend to get very rigid in our personal definition. For example, we must be a certain height, certain hair color, certain weight.
Thank you for supporting us to love ourselves “as is” and for reminding us that the more confident and accepting of ourselves that we are, the sexier we become.
You’re a doll. Come back anytime.
Susan, wow.
THANK YOU for sharing this. I needed it more than ever (“I AM date-worthy, dammit!”). 
YOU are SO dateworthy, beautiful Katvita.
dammit.