Stress is a fact of life and it not only negatively effects our health, it can also be a relationship killer. Within our fast pace cultures, it’s unrealistic to try to avoid stress completely. Yet, what we do with our stress can make all the difference. When we are stressed out we generally become irritable, short tempered and we often shutdown or isolate ourselves, sending confusing messages to the people we love. This can cause great harm to our relationships, and especially to our most intimate relationship… the one with our spouse or life partner.
You may not always be able to leave your work pressures at the office, let go of a busy day managing kids, or keep your other anxieties at bay, yet you really can use stress to your advantage and turn it into something that creates a strong bond that brings you together versus pushes you apart.
Here are five ways you can get to stressing less and kissing more…
- Communication – Use what stresses you out as a way to allow your partner to get to know you. While also sharing the good things that you love and enjoy, open up to them and share your hurts and frustrations. Allow what stresses you out to bring you closer to your partner by using it to create intimacy and understanding.
- Partnership – When people we love are hurting it naturally triggers the desire within us to protect. We want to help that person, take away their pain and nurture them. Use your stress to bring partnership into your relationship. Brainstorm solutions to what troubles you, allow your partner to help and support you.
- Affection - Physical contact is a great stress reducer! Hugging someone you love, holding another persons hand or snuggling up on the sofa helps to slow our breathing and reduce physical tension. Use stress to your advantage in your relationship by using physical contact as a way to chill out.
- Romance - Use feeling stressed as an excuse to enjoy lots of romance! Schedule romantic getaways now and then. Pamper one another and enjoy sexual intimacy together. Instead of saying, “not tonight” because you are stressed, use sex as a way to de-stress! Enjoy each other’s warmth and touch, giggles and smiles.
- Innovation - Stressful times can lead to incredible innovation and creativity. Talk with your partner about what consistently stresses you out and together identify solutions. Perhaps you can agree on a lifestyle change or a simple routine you can put into place. With innovation and creativity comes healthy pride… a sense of accomplishment the two of you can share from working together as a team to resolve your troubles.
And remember… partners who play together, stay together. During stressful times it is utterly important to have some fun and play! Tickle one another, have a pillow fight together or simply laugh together as you watch a silly movie. Don’t allow stress to push you apart but instead use it as a catalyst that glues you together.
Comment on this question:
How Can You Use Stress as Your Relationship Glue?!
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Susan Liddy is the author of the “Body Benevolence eBook; 8 Weeks to Loving Your Body” and “The Secrets to Ultimate Living; What You Wish You Knew When You Were 20!”. Find more of her tips and articles to create an ultimate life and an extraordinary business here: SusanLiddy.com
©copyright, All Rights Reserved Internationally, Susan Liddy, Susan Liddy International
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{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }
Thank you for the hopeful, helpful, upbeat tips, Susan. And your timing? Perfect.
You are amazing, Susan. I can’t say that enough. Absolutely amazing. <3
Hi Susan,
Thanks for offering an opposite/alternative approach to how stress can affect our relationships.
I know for me a simple touch or gentle kiss can bring an immediate shift in the stressful tension in my body and mind.
I do think that communicating with your partner about the things that stress you out and together coming up with alternatives or changes that both partners can make together can be so empowering to a relationship. I do believe though that should be done at a time when you you’re not in a heightened state of stress. Also, choosing your words carefully so as not to “blame” the other and to take responsibility for how you react to stress. Like you said, communication is key!
Thank you so much for your offering.
Dianne
Here is the Honor Talk communication format I mentioned above:
http://www.secretstoultimateliving.com/how-to-resolve-your-relationship-conflicts-through-communication/
Some of the greatest things are achieved in times of dire need, this is very true! In a job that you find stressful, creative people often find ways to make it easier and hence less stressful.
Absolutely, Susan!
We need more kisses in our life to reduce stress, boost immunity, burn calories:-)
Breathe, smile and be happy…
Yes, I love the tip to use stress to have more Romance. There is no better stress relief in the world…. cuddling, orgasms, oxytocin, endorphins …. total attitude adjustment. I am going to share this, Susan. Great tips as always.
Love this reframe on dealing with stress. Appreciate your perspective and your advice.
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