Struggle! Chaos! Expectations! Three Steps to a Calmer You.
Many women get caught up in a struggle for life balance and fulfillment. We create long to do lists to get everything done; We accept too many commitments to meet the expectations of others; We struggle to keep jobs that we do not enjoy; We stay in relationships to avoid loneliness; We obsess over meaningless details. We get caught up in the DOING and forget entirely about BEING.
After living this way for many years I figured something out that forever changed my life. Part of life balance includes letting go. Letting go of my expectations, busy to do list(s) and all of the shoulds, musts and have tos that plagued me daily. It was only when I stepped into “flow” that I began to create a balanced and fulfilling life.
Whoa! Hold the presses. You’re not suggesting that I just sit back and let life happen…?
Not exactly.
Stepping into flow means to embrace your life rhythm, personal values and your virtues. It is to get centered and connected with your inner knowing. Only then can you know HOW to create a balanced and fulfilling life.
And, being the type to engage in struggle isn’t entirely bad. After you are clear about what you want you can direct that same diligent energy to move you toward it.
Use the energy without the stress!
Stepping into flow also includes allowing Life-God-the Universe to support and guide you. Take your time, enjoy the moment remembering all the while… Life is a Journey.
Consider an area of your life where you feel stuck:
- STOP activities in this life area. It is time for change. Put away your lists, throw your expectations out the door.
- STEP into flow. Get quiet. Perhaps meditate or journal. Connect with your Inner Knowing. Discover what you value, create a vision and set some priorities. Remind yourself of the virtues and strengths that will support you through your transition.
- START moving. Accomplish the tasks that move you toward your vision at a steady, even pace. Include “breaks” and moments to step back into flow to evaluate.
If you fall back into struggling and feeling a bunch of fear, Congratulations! You are at the opening of a doorway to freedom. Where ever you have emotional fear is your signal to “go there.” Please contact me to learn how I can support you.
Aspire fearlessly,
Comment on this Question:
In what life area are you willing to eliminate stress?
Hi Your article was very informative and exactly what I have been hearing myself say to myself for sometime, I am slowly making the change, but it is difficult to let go of my high expectations.
Oh, Susan, you are one amazing chick! Great article! That
very last line was written just for me! I have been struggling with the tiny details about whether to move or not and making myself just sick trying to make the decision. I was already aware that my reservations were all about fear. But hearing you say it is my signal to “go there” makes so much sense! Now, if I can just stop being afraid long enough to step forward. Wish so desperately that I could hire you to transform my life. Some day…
Susan – I like the SLOWLY part… one step at a time, nice and easy. All of those small steps will accumulate into BIG SHIFTS and CHANGES over time. Good job listening to your inner dialogue! Good job focusing on those high expectations!
Keep up the good work!
Susan
PS. You’ve got a great name.
Laura – Hi.
There is absolutely FREEDOM awaiting you in this decision. I know that you’ve been very unhappy for a long time… feeling so stuck, unable to make movement. How can you separate your “irrational” fears out of this situation?
My guess is much of your fears are triggers from your past… worries that things won’t go well, that you’ll make the wrong decisions, that you won’t be able to handle it. You’ve been in “survival mode” for so long that it’s become your way of life yet may be far from who you truly are. Dig deep down within you… where is that empowered Laura? The Laura who used to dream, seek adventure and love with full abandon? She is in there and so desperately wants to reconnect with you. Allow her to guide you…
What is just one small step you can take in the direction of making this decision?
Susan
Once again Susan, I so appreciate your offering. I love the simple quiet steps you suggest on moving toward what serves us well and letting go of what no longer does.
I also feel that moving into “flow” includes letting go of the attachment to any specific outcomes. And letting of our self judgment of the times when we might unconsciously step out of the flow.
These gentle reminders and small incremental steps truly help us take our power back.
Thanks again Susan and be well
Dianne DelReyes
Hi Dianne,
Love what you wrote about letting go of attachment.
Gosh, we do get SOOOO attached to how things SHOULD be or how they were “supposed to” turn out… all these expectations only serve to run us down and leave us feeling very disappointed.
We aren’t always going to be good at letting go. I know I’m not! We are absolutely going to find ourselves re-engaged in struggling and creating chaos from time to time.
Always good to practice self forgiveness, and something else that gets me back on track… simply beginning again.
((( hugs )))
Susan